Ole Sweet Player
by The Long Fall of Prose
Summary: The Shohoku team decides to rejuvenate their morale after their game with Aiwa with an outdoor vacation. Everyone has their own agendas for tonight. Not that it would really give a new lease of life. RuHanaRu.
1. Chapter 1

_Standard disclaimers apply. This is a total rip-off from the narration style of Arrested Development and this is the first time I'm making a RuHana/HanaRu. There are no indications of time and there's too many references here; blink and you'll miss. I still have to think how it'll end though. Reviews/flames welcome, as always._

* * *

A certain raven-haired youngster, despite the silence this moment seems to give, is more than thoughtless right now. Earlier that day a rumpus occurred at exactly 5.45 in the morning, by the rented van, just when he was about to continue drooling asleep, that his teammates decided to see the first sunlight with too much excitement. That's aside from the fact that he deems them insignificant. Today he's closed his eyes to resume his deep fascination to sleep, unnoticed by everyone. It wasn't awkward. 

"Listen to the waves," he hears.

How can one be asleep and awake at the same time?

"Listen to their soothing sounds, listen to the relentless surge of the waters, to these rhythms. They're as gentle as a caressing breeze but they flow violently against the shore. Listen to the waves that's the Shohoku Basketball Team. Hanamichi..."

There was a frustrated sigh. It wasn't awkward. "I told you to close your eyes,"

"Sensei-ish man, I can't even picture the sands."

"You have to have a powerful body and soul,"

"Obviously," the soon-to-be captain mocks, eyes shut, grinning. This is Riyota Miyagi, jersey seven and point guard for their team. He isn't funny as his joke is. In fact, for the past two years this man is as sentimental as a Sweet Valley High reader. Sweet Valley High was a franchise of books catering to young adults and published 152 titles narrating the adolescence of the Wakefield sisters in a fictional place called Sweet Valley in Californina. An 88-episode TV series of the same title was soon developed. Most writers of the book were ghostwriters. Riyota Miyagi has secretly stashed more than enough volumes that it pokes him under his bed at night. No one has ever seen him reading one.

"Oh shut up dwarf. I bet you're picturing Ayako naked and–"

"Ooh Haruko... aah Haruko, deeper, yeah," replies the point guard, all in feminine force.

The one with a redder face is Hanamichi Sakuragi. Several months earlier his hair is as thick as a mane but as an act of redemption he decided to sport a much shorter hair. A freshman, a sloppy power forward who acts like a genius and thinks with a much reduced sensibility, which is not really awkward for him. Several months ago he fell hard for the team captain's sister Akagi Haruko (who fell hard for the raven-haired freshman) which led him to join the team, and until this seemingly beautiful day he has yet to learn if the girl would give him his 51st rejection. Or 52nd.

"Motherfu–"

"Hanamichi, no swearing. Please guys, this is serious. Take it like a game."

A long fall of silence. Much of them are still grinning, and they kept on grinning despite the silence which grew on them after Miyagi's remark. Except for the team captain and the dozing freshman, they were all smirking with no particular quip to laugh about. It was growing harrowing.

Days earlier, the team has voted (with the exception of a particularly silent teammate) to spend a week off the bays to replenish their supposed morale, or something resembling that. Their coach have suggested it prior to this census but immediately brushed the idea off due to their distressing, stressful, stressful, nerve-racking and disquieting schedule against Aiwa, not to mention that they're losing physical strength. Before that their team won against Sannoh which cost the team some injuries, and before that a particularly lonesome freshman took solace in assisting a particularly stubborn redhead to brush his skin against Hanamichi. Not that it implies something for the redhead.

"Where were we?" asks the scarred man named Mitsui Hisashi, ex-gangster, ex-MVP, ex-embittered, a formerly resilient basketball player who now lost a perfectly glistening set of teeth after his fight with Miyagi and Youhei (Hanamichi's carefree friend). Almost a year earlier he formerly wanted the demise of the team but due to a one-sided Platonic love to coach Anzai he returned to the club and became the shooting guard. There's an emphasis on being Platonic.

The one beside him trying to hide a sneer is Kiminobu Kogure. Vice-captain, and will be graduating in a matter of weeks, along with the team's captain. Although there was really no use accompanying the team to the bays for a vacation, he felt the need of this uselessness as a distraction while he's waiting for the first day at the university he applied for. This is a chance for him to loose a screw (his words), one day of rashness for four years of modesty. The team captain, who is awkward to look at by the way (compared to his sister), is beside the vice-captain and is beginning to loose a screw, too (not his words). Not that it pertained to Kogure's context, but this was supposed to be a day's rest and the rest of the team is making it more distressing, stressful, stressful, nerve-racking and disquieting.

He quivers his lips. The man at the center of all these youngsters twitches an eyebrow. "From the beginning," he says.

It was growing harrowing.

So why is Kaede Rukawa smiling? Because he will doze off brushing his skin against Sakuragi.

* * *

_**'Ole Sweet Player**, as Told in Two Chapters and an Epilogue

* * *

_One day earlier the team has unpacked their bags and started to gather 'round the room to decide which gets more space in the drawers and who goes to the can first. Of course, considering they are high school students, ungenerous provisions were to be expected, but sharing beds were not in the initial plan. But guess who liked that idea. 

"No," says Mitsui.

"Yes y'will," the captain insists, making an awkward face. An ex-gangster wouldn't fall for that.

"No," the other emphasizes, making his own face. The captain insists, and hears the other reply, "No," and it was becoming awkward. "Drop dead," he adds.

"Then you sleep there," the captain commands, pointing to a dusty carpeted floor.

"It's your fault we're in this room," Miyagi says. It was true. The ex-gangster was assigned of the simple task to reserve a room capable of comfortably housing tall and almost sculpted high school students, but he decided to reserve this room when he learned that there's a room with 50 discount and that there's a nightclub two blocks away from the motel. No one ever knew of this.

"Miyagi shares with Hanamichi, Rukawa with Kogure–"

"No, sorry," the vice-captain meekly states, and was also expecting Akagi making the same awkward face. "I live nearby," Kogure says. But he doesn't.

"I'd just probably go home after dinner." But he won't, although he'd rather go home than share a bed. Actually he never shared a bed since a child because he had an uninspiring knack for too much motility that he's worried about punching a blue hole on Rukawa's cheek.

"But we're neighbors," Mitsui wonders.

"We moved."

A certain captain was growing impatient, like he always is, and gave up on his teammates, telling them that they choose who they want to sleep with. Not that it meant something else of course, but a particularly lonesome freshman thought the other way around. He more or less liked the idea, but his ways of endearment towards the particularly arrogant freshman are rather discouraging. Tonight, he thought, tonight.

Ten minutes after, the probability that the team would reach an agreement comes into full view. Kogure still insists that he can actually go home after dinner, which would be an incoherent excuse since they supposedly are on some vacation, or camping, and it required not going home. Mitsui is more or less okay sleeping everywhere (because he won't be really sleeping anyway), and Miyagi says he likes to sleep with Ayako. While Rukawa secretly wanted to sleep with the sloppy redhead, the latter opted to sleep with Miyagi. Three seconds after saying that, there was more than enough awkwardness that there was a minute of silence. Sleep has become one of most ambivalent words today, and they laughed (except Rukawa) to nothing in particular.

They went to the sandy bays afterwards.

"If Coach was here y'all be–"

"Only Mitsui I think," cuts the vice-captain. "This's obviously not a good idea," he adds, Akagi seemingly agreeing. While the man who was supposed to teach the team about chakra control and rejuvenation already handed a white flag and finally decided that lunch was a much better choice (there was an alienating sound coming from Sakuragi's stomach while everyone was meditating), Kogure and Akagi watched their almost sculpted teammates, who are in high school by the way, enjoying making sand castles.

"Releasing the inner child."

"Or they were deprived of good childhood mem'ries. I wonder how Rukawa spent his childhood."

Kogure wondered it because he wasn't there enjoying and making sand castles or burying Mitsui and poking his earlobes with a non-toxic plastic spade like what Sakuragi is doing as an act of vengeance (he found out that there was a nightclub two blocks away from where they're staying after stalking Haruko and Ayako but decided against going for some obvious reason). Miyagi held a stick which he grazed against the sand and making particularly awkward shapes of heart, telling Mitsui how he'd give it to Ayako as gift, if only they were not made of sand. The ex-gangster cannot complain; he cannot even twitch a finger.

"Why don't you just tell her man, not that she'll be touched or something but at least you told her."

"Am I not obvious?"

He was. In fact several months ago he finally decided to disclose an undying love to Ayako, the team's manageress, the team's tomboy, Miyagi's object of passion. There were four memorable events during that decision and an infinity of revelations from his teammates. First, he found out that watching Leonardo di Caprio and Kate Winslet in the popular film Titanic made him cry. Second, he found out that Mitsui was watching Miss Match (a 2003 FOX romance-comedy series starring Alicia Silverstone about a marriage attorney and a part-time matchmaker, which only filmed eighteen episodes due to their lack of ratings, some of which were not even aired) when the sophomore asked his advice. Third, he accidentally saw Rukawa lightly kissing one of the basketballs and Miyagi almost fainted at the freshman's literal passion for the game. In reality however, Rukawa did not kiss it, but puffed the ball before wiping it to make sure that the basketballs would glisten as he dunks them the next practice. Of course, considering that the ball is red, it's ambivalent to see why those basketballs had to glisten in the first place. Lastly, he found out that Kogure was dating Ayako. It almost made him lose sanity.

"I would have to admit defeat my friend,"

"Too busy with yer machismo Kogure already beat you. Hey where are you going," Miyagi nods down as he depressingly walks away from the ex-gangster, ruined between the fact that he lost and he didn't even tell her his feelings in the first place. Not that Ayako never knew in the first place. Tonight, he thought, tonight.

"Hanamichi, get me out here,"

"Drop dead," he grins, and stabs the shovel in front of Mitsui.

"Where're ye going?"

The redhead picks up a flower nearby and placed it on Mitsui's ear. "You're the most beautiful girl in the world, if only you had make-up on,"

"Get the (censored) out here then,"

"Queer."

Hanamichi suspected it for some obvious reason.

"Who's (censored)-ing queer?"

"I'll be back."

At the other end, Rukawa heard the word queer, who by the way was asleep and awake at the same time, and thought that Hanamichi referred to him and that he disliked this certain kind of sexuality. Although the fox was more or less inclined to words like open-minded or curious or tripper, he didn't really mind because everything meant one and the same thing and it was pretentious. The ashamed succumbs to being hypocritical. So after several minutes, the redhead was applying foundation to Mitsui's face, which he acquired from Ayako. Haruko and the manageress was there to witness the makings of the most beautiful girl in the world (Sakuragi's words) and Rukawa yet again thought that the former was referring to him.

"I'm going to kill you,"

"You can't even twitch a finger."

"Idiot." Hanamichi recoils, and his head turns in slow motion so that his view is parallel to Rukawa's. The word, however, meant something else than a much reduced sensibility.

"(censored) close-minded idiot." Not that the redhead heard it anyway. He's too much of a genius to hear it.

"Why're y'here foxy?"

There was no reply. Tonight, he thought, tonight.

"Akagi! Kogure! Hey Haruko, you're even here? Go get (censored)-ing Akagi here!"

This is Haruko Akagi, sister of the team's captain, Hanamichi's supposed crush, naïve but only plays innocent, freshman and is more than selfish to stay and watch Mitsui become the most beautiful girl at her right eye and watch Rukawa doze off at the corner of her left eye. Months earlier she tried to show her feelings towards the open-minded Rukawa by giving him lunch packed so perfectly in checkered cloth and while Rukawa is not really fond of these ways of endearment, he nonetheless took it to save money.

"Did you like the lunch I gave you Rukawa-kun?"

"Yes. Thank you."

Ask him such questions, and he'll only tell you lies.

"My brother's on the store by the entrance," she replies softly. But he isn't. There's no entrance in the first place. In fact Akagi is on the room with Kogure preparing for dinner.

"Yes, I... I think, yeah, he was buying groceries for dinner later."

"Lighten up Mitsui, this only happens once in a lifetime," says Ayako, readying the lipstick. "You really look like a geisha,"

Mitsui cannot complain; he cannot even twitch a finger. What he can do, however, is to think ways by which he can have acts of vengeance towards Hanamichi and Ayako and Haruko. And even Rukawa, whose apathy was annoying him to no end. Tonight, he thought, tonight.

Earlier that moment, Akagi was making barbeque marinade and Kogure was readying the bonfire by collecting enough wood he gathered near the bays, wet, and so he had to ensure that they will burn by wetting them with gasoline. Although it crossed his mind that the food would probably taste like kerosene, Akagi is a very good cook that it his teammates will mistake the taste for the marinade.

"We've spent too much on food,"

"Which is okay y'know, than spend it in the nightclub."

"You're going?"

"I dunno," Kogure says. "Mitsui likes to. Ayako told me it was a very peculiar nightclub. Queen Mary's."

"Yeah," the other says, wiping his hand with his apron.

"And what d'ya intend to do after dinner? Will a retreat-like program manage to rejuvenate them?"

There was a growing silence, and both of them thought really hard. The first retreat they had, the one before their mock game against Ryonan, had Yasuda clenching his fist when Hanamichi told him that he's not as good as he is showing in the practice. Rukawa twitched an eyebrow, which was a miracle at that time. The second retreat had Miyagi and Mitsui hitting the air than themselves (their fists were not as accurate as Tyler Durden's) when the latter complained about the ex-gangster's lack of stamina (and whispering a complete set of teeth) and Haruko almost fainted when she found a condom by the bed she shared with Ayako. There was no third retreat-like ambience at their third camping because everyone learned their lesson.

"What secrets lie hidden amongst those naughty faces they have eh?" Kogure muses, "but they'd probably just take their guts out after that,"

"We'll set new rules then,"

"But didn't we do that before?"

"This time it's true. Whoever tries showing the slightest manifestation of violence will be stoned to death."

Kogure felt awkward. "Maybe something else, ne? Although no more of that brutal honesty crap, it really is brutal."

"Let's hope for that," says the other. This conversation was heard by Rukawa when he was about to go inside because Mitsui's stares are growing harrowing, and realized how much he's sold his body out for all of Haruko to savor, and decided to just anticipate tonight by the bed. He enters, playing innocent, asleep and awake at the same time, and the seniors have to wonder for themselves why this certain lonesome freshman had a very deep fascination to sleep. In reality however, he detests sleep, for some obvious reason. So why is Kaede Rukawa smiling? Because he will doze off brushing his skin against Sakuragi.

* * *

_tbc._


	2. Chapter 2

_The content here is unedited, so feel free to point out the mistakes. Not that I'll be changing them immediately. I still don't know where and how to end though._

* * *

Jersey 11, standing 187 centimeters and weighing 75 kilograms, and apathetically celebrates his birthday every 1st of January whom he shares with another particularly and seemingly apathetic person (who is not in the story). This is Kaede Rukawa, and he's helping Akagi and Kogure prepare dinner. He has a supposedly secret erotic admiration for a certain teammate who acts like a genius and thinks with a much reduced sensibility, named Hanamichi Sakuragi. Because Rukawa thought that the two seniors overheard his thoughts regarding the redhead while trying to sleep (as we've learned earlier Rukawa doesn't have a deep fascination to sleep, but because he's awake and asleep at the same time trying to struggle against his deep fascination to Hanamichi, he is mostly seen dozing off trying to compensate his lack of sleep), which was an absurd thing to think about; he played innocent by trying to help Akagi and Kogure making preparations for dinner. Then he learned that Queen Mary's, the nightclub which was two blocks away from the room they're staying, is actually for poofs.

Again Rukawa thought that they were referring to him.

"Idiot."

"We heard that," says Kogure, "...not that Sakuragi's here to hear it." Again Rukawa didn't mean the word idiot to be of a much reduced sensibility on Hanamichi's end, but firstly because all he can stutter right now is that word (most probably because of his paranoia or he cannot even tell Sakuragi his feelings in the first place), and secondly, he isn't good with words. Most apathetic persons are.

"How's the beach?" asks the vice-captain, trying to break the ice. He can see the freshman gripping the barbeque pieces with too much force.

"D'ya know drugstores here, sempai?"

"Drugstore? What for?" Riyota Miyagi has entered the room and initially planned to slack off until the time where he had to gather all courage to speak to Ayako later (but it would turn out at later realization that alcohol would be a good help) but was intrigued by the question. Is there alcohol on any drugstore by the way?

"Need something," the freshman replies, nonchalant, detached and speaking in a third-person perspective with no other subjective thoughts about it.

"There's a grocery store, there's a clinic nearby, yeah well there's a gay bar too but I haven't seen any drugstore,"

But guess who didn't know that.

Meanwhile, Mitsui has desperately tried to look asleep, embarrassed by his (or her) face, and while he is premeditating acts of vengeance, he suddenly realized that Hanamichi, as well as the two girls, were gone, discerned by the total absence of noise. Actually, the three of them were off to the motel room. Haruko has excused of helping her brother although she really wanted to see Rukawa's almost sculpted body. Ayako, being too honest as she is, wants to see Kogure. Hanamichi on the other hand, with a lack of better things to do and thinking that he likes the captain's sister (an emphasis to the notion of a subjective and biased thought), followed the two girls. Mitsui was getting boring; he cannot even twitch a finger.

"(censored) hell." Akagi was the first to declare, seeing as the rest of the team and Haruko are on the motel room and he's breathing a very dysfunctional air. He was supposed to say 'bloody hell' in the British sense but its American counterpart is more or less the same thing so we had to censor that.

"Ayako-chan," says the vice-captain and Ryota.

"Rukawa-kun..." whispers Haruko. Both Haruko and Ryota had hearts in their eyes. Almost.

"Gori! Glasses boy! Nyayahahaha! The genius is gonna help you!"

"Ryota, pass the sauce."

"Saku..."

Rukawa was about the follow the trend of calling his teammates' names and immediately thought of wording the redhead's, but it was only five in the afternoon and it didn't really count as evening, and so he only mouthed two syllables. The rest of them, on the other hand, thought otherwise. There was silence, and it was awkward, so he resorts to the one thing he is excellent at.

"Idiot."

"Hey! I (censored) didn't do anything y'lame fox." Hanamichi was going to say bloody, by the way.

"Exactly."

No one heard it. It was here that Rukawa realized how he had waited too long. How long was he brushing his skin against him anyway? Why did he like him in the first place? It was a moment of weakness for him, a moment of a deflated ego, a moment of thoughtlessness and misgivings. He stood up, and went straight to the drugstore. There was a moment of silence, and it wasn't awkward; they were used to this.

"Mitsui's probably, uh, so..."

One hour later, Mitsui's silhouette can be seen through the curtains showering. He can also be heard by the showers muttering uncouthness. Unbeknownst to the rest of the team, he can also be seen teary-eyed due to the humiliation the cosmetics have caused him, and the flower, too. But since human tears are barely visible against the trickling waters, there was really no telling that he is crying or is teary-eyed. In truth, there was no one by the bays that time when the three left him. He didn't know this because he was pretending to be asleep. It was an attempt to a sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, which he'd call himself later. It had no resemblance to the Korean film of the same name.

Hanamichi Sakuragi is wearing an apron like Akagi and preparing the sushi rice, a good quality rice they cannot afford but was given by their coach, which the latter deemed as compensation because of his absence. Ayako was helping her boyfriend make mushroom sauce for the fried pork, and Ryota, trying to be obvious to the manageress, was beside them preparing crown daisy and oyster pancake.

"This was originally a Korean dish Ayako-chan,"

She was smiling. That wasn't a relief for the sophomore for he knew it was for Kogure.

"Pass the wraps Ryochin,"

"This was originally a Korean dish,"

"What?" Ayako finally paid him attention.

"This pancake, it's uh... Korean."

"Good for you."

"Ryochin!"

"What! This is a Korean dish for (censored)'s sake,"

A moment of silence.

"The wrappers, please," whispers the redhead, and Kogure gave it to him.

One minute after, Ryota Miyagi was out of the room and was gone looking for Rukawa. Three more minutes and Mitsui was out of the showers with only a towel girded by his waist, his body wet and his blue-black hair glistening against the light, his skin supple. This description of his body will play a major role to one of his acts of vengeance, sort of. He leaves to change.

"Did he just wink at you?"

"What?"

"Mitsui-sempai. He just winked at you."

"I wasn't looking."

It was true.

"Is he gay or something?"

"Well I dunno, he always goes at the wrong places at the right time. Maybe."

"Does he like you?"

An unreliable source says that last Christmas they waltzed by the Tsurugaoka-hachiman-gu shrine at the Kamakura, Kanagawa district, when lights shone heavy on both of them. That source also saw them together by the same shrine last Valentine's (a February cliché and hoax), and also at their match against Ryonan when Mitsui patted Kogure's shoulders when the latter made a three point shot (it was called the Red Windfall hoax, not that it was worth hearing). A Shohoku freshman also wrote a fiction under a pseudonym about the two of them when she spotted them both by the lockers, although that's another story. There were so many accounts of them together but there was never any proof to confirm it.

"Don't tell me we're having this conversation again Ayako,"

"That wink is a special one," she says. "A wink that's slower than the usual is a hint,"

"Did Ryota give you that kind of blink too?"

"He doesn't blink when I'm around. Likes to keep his eyes open all the time."

"Then I'm sure you understand." She did. Remember the condom that Haruko found by the bed she shared with the manageress several months ago?

"But why does he have to blink like a Bluth yknow?" she wonders.

"Anyway, I'll go to the store, we need more condiments,"

"Uh... I'll need soup stock,"

"Booze!"

"No one is getting booze Sakuragi. I'll stone you to death."

And so off went Ayako, and the three almost sculpted high school students were left to prepare for the camping-esque dinner like desperate housewives. They were doing what people do when preparing food. Mixing, marinating, waiting for the rice to cook, tasting and frying and... Where are the others by the way?

"There's no such thing as a truth serum," says the bored pharmacist, who didn't really make pharmaceutical works but manned the cashier/customer service booth. Although Rukawa had more brain cells compared to the main protagonist, he had no idea that the perfect truth serum exists only in James Bond films, or Harry Potter for that matter. In fact, science considers the perfect truth drug to be too optimistic.

"You're becoming annoying."

"Truth. Drug."

What would he need the drug for anyway?

"Tru–"

"Rukawa..."

Behind the freshman is Ryota Miyagi.

"Long time no see, mate," he pats the taller boy's shoulder. "What's up?''

"This yer pal? He wanna buy a truth drug."

"I'll buy one too."

"(censored) hell."

"Come on, I see it in the movies man, I'm sure you can dredge something up there,"

Rukawa nods.

"What do you need them for anyway?"

"We need... I, uh, I don't actually know about him but I need some courage."

"Dude," the cashier says, pointing his fingers at them, "booze is to courage, truth serum is to torture,"

"I don't like being drunk when I–"

Rukawa was intrigued, although not as enthusiastic as being intrigued really meant. He knew that Ryota had fallen too hard for their manageress, and he knew too that he had tried telling her. Desperation clings like the need to slam dunk, he thought. Rukawa realized now that truth drug may have been non-existent. He nonetheless wanted to buy one; it's the only solution for an apathetic person like him. Ryota is as desperate as Rukawa, and in unison they've threatened with clenched fists, "Truth. Drug."

Pharmacists are more or less vulnerable against these and the fists have turned into their own truth drugs. "All right all right, sheesh..."

"But the fact stands dudes, there is no truth drug,"

The fists are raised, charged.

"It's (censored) true guys... but..." he trails off, "you can make one, but it won't have full effects,"

Ryota smiles. Rukawa puckers his lips.

"Ethanol, barbiturate, sodium thiopental. Sedatives and all that crap. They mess about your capacity to think complexly, makes you loose your tongue,"

"How do we make it?"

"You either make an almost pure sort of ethanol, or just–"

"Isn't that just like booze?"

"Sort of," the man, feeling at ease, has started to rummage at the miniature boxes behind him. "Pentothal makes you too quirky for your own good, if y'know what I mean,"

"Oh we don't need to be too chatty or something,"

"Man, just take some booze, it'll be much easier."

A fist is raised.

"Besides... it'll cost you."

"I'll pay whatever for truth's sake,"

Rukawa nods.

"Pentothal will have you for thirty six hours,"

"And you're both Japanese."

The pharmacist was referring to the fact that truth serums went to mainstream science after the KGB, a then-Soviet intelligence agency, became infamous for employing these tactics of truth and lies. The reported drug, called SP-17, was supposed to be efficient. Most cases surrounding this drug have been associated with the Russians. Of course this is only précis. "What?"

"Nevermind. Got scopolamine, temazepam, what have you. Though I suggest," says the pharmacist, holding the paper bag, "these."

"Ethanol."

"It's a sanitizer." It was Rukawa. Ryota had more brain cells than him.

"Hey, I'm the pharmacist."

"More innocent than others. Slows down cognitive function."

"Would y'be okay with that Rukawa? I mean, slowed cognitive function."

"Idiot."

"It wouldn't be as effective, lesser side effects, lesser noticeability. Not that artificial truths're trustworthy anyway."

"Just give me that." They left tremendous amounts of bills, flabbergasting the pharmacist. But the cashier wasn't shocked by the amount of money both of them were willing to sacrifice for a dubious and flash seconds of stinking truth. He realized that it was the first time in ages that he really worked as a pharmacist. The story does not recommend using truth drugs at all.

Thirty seconds later, Rukawa and Ryota can be seen standing still outside the drugstore, just staring at each other. After minutes of psychological warfare against the cashier, they just realized now how awkward it was for the both of them to share the truth drugs. Or to join hands acquiring truth drugs. Thirty seconds later, Rukawa and Ryota can be seen staring at each other, still motionless, not even twitching a finger. Thirty seconds later, they realized that they had to tell their stories one way or the other.

Several meters away from the rest of the team, the sophomore and the freshman took solace in each other's woes, although ten minutes earlier neither of them found trust to confide. That is slowed cognitive function. Meanwhile, Mitsui has finished planning and went on to execute the team's demise; he thought the feeling was familiar. After leaving a note by Kogure's bed, he left the room and went on his acts of vengeance.

"When I'd have courage I'd tell her of the vanity of Kanagawa. (censored) basketball, we'll be fine down Fuji's, sleep bags and all, just hiking 'til we're exhausted, y'know,"

Rukawa is nodding. Ryota feels depressed.

"I'll get a job, we'll marry, have wonderful children, live happily ever (censored) after."

"Preposterous," says the other.

Ryota thought they thought they heard it before. It almost made him lose sanity.

"I know, I know," whispers the shorter lad. "And how 'bout you? Why're ye so obsessed with that idiotic redhead?"

Rukawa's answer is as good as any other man with a much reduced sensibility. This has made him silent, and he's just staring at the bonfire that Kogure is making as if the alight charcoals have the answer. He knew that, as an eternal fact but with no empirical evidence (much philosophical debate is going on regarding the ontological status of the feeling of love, making it metaphysical, but this is remotely far from the actual plot), he wasn't in love.

"Well?"

"I like him,"

"Duh. Give me something we don't know."

"We?"

Months earlier the team has suspected that the freshman is attracted to a particularly stubborn teammate named Hanamichi Sakuragi. Usually, teammates who had their secrets revealed are verbally molested by teases, as well as pranks like delivered flowers, love letters and chocolate (the typical manifestations of the so-called love). But considering it is the deadpan Rukawa who likes to think that no one notices, they found it awkward to tease someone who doesn't even roll a tongue to react. Haruko likes to think that everything is as straight as an arrow, while Hanamichi is just too naïve and stubborn to notice.

"But why? I mean, he's stupid,"

"He is."

"He's as good as a donkey when playing,"

"He is."

"He has a weird hair,"

"He does."

"And he fails exams,"

"He does."

"Doesn't have decent house,"

"Yes."

"And he's shitty and smells like fish,"

"He does?"

Silence.

"He's an 'ole sweet player."

Silence.

"And you're as apathetic as a (censored) stone,"

It was here that Rukawa realized what attracted him to Sakuragi.

"He's something I don't have."

That sounds objectifying doesn't it? Three minutes earlier Kogure and Akagi have started to assemble things for the camping dinner and Hanamichi, predisposed to impress anyone who might insult his state of being genius, started to fit the pots together so that the pork and mushroom stew is warm at their tongues' touch. Haruko was preparing the barbeque, and Ayako went back to the room to fetch the drinks when she spotted the note left by someone who had shoddy writing. This is probably to maintain the anonymity of the author, but Ayako's so good at noticing that she smirked as she reads the note.

"After dinner, got a key for 105." Ayako thought it was sweet of Kogure to reserve a room for them. She ended up leaving the room carrying nothing, now oblivious due to the euphoria the thought has given her.

"Get here turds! Dinner!" Ryota and Rukawa stashed the drugs and went into the room just in time to hear Akagi's growl beckoning them to sit like decent men for the dinner. Thinking that the best chance to not be noticed, they dissolved the drugs into their own drinks. They left, and everyone was there (Yasuda and others are not present because they've learned their lesson).

"Let your belts buckle, not your fists, or I'll stone you to death," warns the captain. Besides, their fists are not as accurate as Tyler Durden's. Little did everyone know, except the two desperate lads, that their drinks have some artificial truth in them. Rukawa and Ryota didn't know what to do when they realized that the drinks have the same bottle, color and taste. Here on, the camp/vacation was in full force and the two will have to pay for truth's sake.

* * *

_tbc._


	3. Chapter 3

Previously, the two desperate boys from Shohoku team have decided to finally confess an undying erotic admiration to their clueless so-called teammates (Ayako has been in the team for too long they gotten used to considering her a player too). With the help of an especially common substance known as alcohol (Rukawa's words) they hoped against hope that they could finally have the courage to do so. In fact, the so-called effects of pure ethanol will not work on their end. Truth drugs are infamous for acts of torture by hindering the capacity to lie. Now, hypothetically and consequently, they would not have the courage they needed but would slow down the cognitive functions of their brains – well, not that much activity is happening on theirs. Knowing that most of the characters here have a much reduced sensibility, no one ever knew of this.

Long minutes earlier, the team has perched themselves by the sandy bays with only a bonfire as light and dazzled themselves with a bleak sky. While Rukawa's apprehension thunders like Ryota's, the former is too excellent at being apathetic that the team has been accustomed to his silence and random mutterings of the word idiot, and although Sakuragi has grown accustomed to this name-calling he nonetheless went on to react, "I'm not (censored) doing anything! Gori! Stone him to death!"

Rukawa didn't mean the word idiot in its derogatory sense. In ten times of stuttering the word with gritted teeth, there were five meanings the word connoted. One of these can be traced from Lars Von Trier's earlier films titled Idioterne, or simply, The Idiot. The film tackles the restrictions imposed upon its participants, much like the characters here, and decided upon a resolve to release their inner idiot. That's another meaning of the word, but Rukawa, with a reduced sense of cognitive function, did not know it. Who could anyway?

"This tastes like..."

"Korean?" Ayako was teasing the chef of the crown daisy and oyster cake. For Ryota, it meant a moment of happiness to give him attention.

"Ayako-chan..." One second after and he saw, in his mind's eye, the truth drugs on the bottle. He went on to become anxious again. He also remembered that the pharmacist told them that they're supposed to be tasteless.

"Oh, idiot!"

Everyone was silent. Rukawa thought that Ryota was a plagiarist.

"Oh, I... uh, I was referring to myself... idiot idiot Ryota," he laughs in a stuttering motion. It was awkward.

"Why do we have to drink apple juice? It's not like we're in fifth grade or somethin'," he continues, dissuading the team to drink.

"I mean, the apple-a-day-doctor-away thing's not really true, right? And... uh,"

Everyone was looking at the sophomore. It was growing harrowing.

"Yeah well... it doesn't really, uhm, doesn't taste good either... it's a good day to have booze."

A pebble was thrown at him, and he barely dodged. It wasn't Akagi.

"Who threw that?"

"It just goes on to say that you guys want to have booze, I mean you're only minors," says Ayako. She is a minor, too, by the way. "This is supposed to be a good 'ole camping to boost your capacity to play basketball, y'know, not some rave party claptrap,"

Everyone was silent. Everyone knew this wasn't the good 'ole camping. In fact, everyone knew that good 'ole camping can never boost the team's capacity to play basketball. Much like Wes Craven's The Hills Have Eyes where they go on to spend the night in a desert and ended up getting slaughtered (not in the literal sense). "Where's Mitsui?"

"He's a (censored) queen mary, maybe he went to that club," grits the redhead. Rukawa thought that the former's facial expression signified a symbolical abhorrence against queen maries or against him especially. This made him all the more anxious; but he's too excellent at being apathetic no one can ever notice.

"See Kogure-sempai? Not only me!" Ayako was referring to an earlier encounter when she saw Mitsui, in slow motion, blinking at his best-friend Kiminobu Kogure, adding to the fact we've said earlier about describing his body after shower.

"Add it to the fact that–" she was going to refer to the rumors, but the somber eyes that her boyfriend has made her uneasy. Sakuragi stood, hoping to get that pancake his best-friend worked hard to cook, but also cautious at stepping or touching any part of Rukawa's body, precisely because the pancake was beside the so-called fox. He took a sip of his drink, and so did everyone else. This made Ryota dead to the world.

But why is Rukawa is smiling? Because he's going to brush his skin against the redhead for a much longer time.

* * *

'_**Ole Sweet Player**_, on the epilogue...

* * *

One week has passed since the camping/vacation/hell/heaven, and everyone was busy trying to recuperate from the incidents which traumatized Haruko that she ended up making another story under a very dubious pseudonym called Koruha. This pseudonym went on to become a famous doujinshi writer, which drawing artists more or less hire to sell their spin-off or fan-based works, like a fanfiction or a fan-drawn manga. This story is not written by Koruha.

"Oh poor Haruko," Ayako looks from afar while the rest of the team sloppily made attempts to score. Yasuda was getting better compared to Ryota today.

"What the (censored) did we have that vacation for?"

If it was the season, they would've been beaten at the first round. Akagi is at home trying to recover a bad ankle (the other one) and Kogure has isolated himself away from everyone, even his girlfriend, and Mitsui is laughing his ass off trying to hide the fact that he doesn't have any memory of what happened last week. It turned out now that one of the two bottles with truth drugs in them was consumed by the ex-embittered, ex-gangster named Hisashi Mitsui, who was a formerly resilient basketball player who lost a set of perfectly glistening teeth.

"I was going to have my acts of vengeance, but I failed miserably," says the ex-gangster to one of his mates, who is also an ex-gangster and ex-best-friend.

"What did you do?"

"Reserved a room for Ayako and hired people from Queen Mary's, thought they could play well as yakuza and (censored) threaten Ayako, because the (censored) said they loved theater."

"...and?"

"They called themselves hot yakuzas."

"That doesn't sound bad,"

"I was going to have my acts of vengeance,"

"Yeah you told me."

"They called themselves hot yakuzas."

"What?"

"What?"

"Are you high?"

"Sheesh... I've taken those things off my list. I failed (censored) miserably."

One of the side-effects of pure ethanol is temporary short-memory loss.

Meanwhile, Rukawa was not to be seen in the gym. In fact, he was visiting a hospitalized Sakuragi after being overdosed with pure ethanol. One week earlier, without the knowledge of a much sensible person named Ryota, Rukawa has stashed more than enough dose of truth drugs into his own drink because he thought that his excellent capacity towards apathy will make him lie better. Science in general has often criticized about the side-effects of these so-called artificial truths because an experienced liar or an excellent deadpan person can escape the purpose of the drugs. Rukawa brought flowers as he went into the room.

A week earlier Sakuragi can be seen on the couch, too spent and his body tiredly sprawled by the not-so-comfortable mattresses of the couch, half-asleep, struggling to get free from the chains of the lethargic truth. Rukawa, thinking that he was the one who drank the bottle with truth drugs, thought that he was hallucinating.

"I... I didn't do... (censored) anything, y'lame... lame fox,"

"Exactly."

Rukawa is, right now, staring at the redhead, who is far-eyed and staring at the windows. It's a sunny day and the air-conditioning also made his skin dry, and if there's one thing he needs to recover, it's sweat and basketball, which he cannot do in the first place. Rukawa has managed to arrange the flowers beside the Sakuragi. We now realize that Rukawa has confessed, and he's realized for himself that he never consumed any of those truth drugs. It takes apprehension to be confident.

This was getting dramatic. It was awkward.

"I'm..." Sakuragi stutters, and Rukawa anticipates the worst.

"Where am I?"

"Hospital."

Sakuragi observes the white sheets and the disinfectant smell of the room. "Yeah, yeah," he smiles. This melts the apathetic Rukawa. Most apathetic person would.

"I'm a queen mary."

"You're not."

"Where am I?"

One of the side-effects of pure ethanol is temporary short-memory loss.

"You don't like me," says Rukawa. "Just giving these. Sorry," and he left the room.

At the other end of this hospital is a brooding Kogure. Seven days earlier he thought he needed the uselessness of the team's camping/vacation/hell and relive the dysfunctional memories that is the Shohoku Basketball Team. For the first hours, it seemed tolerable, and being level-headed as he is, he has hoped against hope that nothing unscrupulous or rowdy or hellish would ever happen. After they drank the apple juice, he realized that Ryota may have been right. An apple a day keeping the doctor away, is not really true.

"(censored) Mitsui." This is the first time we've heard him curse and it would've been exciting to hear that. But he didn't mean that; he can't even twitch the (censored) finger.

"(censored) Hisashi," although he didn't mean it. He's too kind to mean it.

"Why're you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Are you high?"

"Sheesh... I've taken those things off my list."

"You look too pale,"

"I am pale."

"I didn't do anything, why are ye including me and Ayako to this mess?"

"Ayako should be punished, he gave the makeup to that donkey,"

"He?"

"So you're here just to tell me that?"

"Yes. That I didn't do anything and–"

"Exactly."

That sounds dubious, doesn't it?

"Sheesh..." was the only thing that Kogure has muttered that time.

Ryota has realized that Ayako knew all along. He never really intended to tell his feelings, seeing as he realized that he didn't had the drink, and went on to become the most depressed and desperate man on the world. Several months earlier we've found out that Ayako was dating Kogure, and this mere fact crushed any more desire within him to pursue a lost love in every somber way possible. But given the chance that Ayako was infuriated at Mitsui for locking her up at room 105 with strippers trying to act like yakuzas in a very erotic way (the reference to samurai swords was very phallic she reckoned, which was a hint in itself) he was given the chance to comfort her.

"Whatever happened to decency y'know, that (censored) Mitsui locking me up to that room with those strippers, and Kogure's gone, and–"

"He's talking to Mitsui, sorting it all out,"

"Darn it. Although one of them had nicer biceps."

"What?"

"Nothing. Y'know I really am sorry about this,"

"This?"

"Don't play (censored) dumb Ryota." Considering that all of Ryota's senses are blocked whenever the manageress is around, he actually is dumb right now.

"I know y'like me."

"...I do."

This was getting dramatic. It wasn't awkward.

"Just... I dunno, somehow you don't really like me y'know,"

"I do... I meant I don't, I do like you."

"Why?"

In all honesty, there's really no need for a rational justification as to why a person likes someone. But seeing as the one Ryota's talking to was Ayako, he felt the need for a rational justification to boost a certain feeling of emotional influence over her, the type that would make her leave Kogure to spend the rest of their lives together in the mountains of Fuji, living happily ever after. He remembers Rukawa, and his dramatic speech about Sakuragi, not realizing that Rukawa, earlier that day, doesn't trust anyone, and decided to talk about that so-called influence. He is an experienced man of apathy.

"You're something I don't have,"

"That sounds... objectifying doesn't it?"

Boy was he moronic!

"That is a (censored) machismo. Why're men obsessed with that (censored) thing?" and she left the room, more irritated than ever.

Not all men are obsessed with that (censored) thing by the way. Kogure isn't.

"What did I do wrong?" he says next, and this is exactly what he said after he missed a lay-up for today's practice. We shall have a disclaimer of leaving this storyline unless a fruitful event happens (it's not a threat but the story is about the other two after all). Please tell your friends about this story.

Haruko was supposed to be held-up by the hot yakuzas on her way to the motel room after dinner. She was alone, as the master of vengeance has planned, and went to instruct the strippers to treat it like it was theater. But the intrinsic instincts of these hot yakuzas set in and not only did they attempt at theatrically mugging Haruko but doing it as they strip they clothes. Although Haruko was used to write fanfictions about these things she never really had the credibility to say that she has indeed witnessed these acts of eroticism. Most writers of this genre are like her. Besides, they're not Rukawa. In the following days, the story based on her experience would become one of the most well-known doujinshi storylines and will change history by setting the standard of writers in their industry, owed to the fact that the writer is anonymous.

Meanwhile, Mitsui has considered that violence was something that Hanamichi is excellent at and crossed out his plans against him when he saw the latter with Rukawa by the room trying to sort something out. It was a more enjoyable scene than threatening him with hot yakuzas.

"It's not what y'think,"

"I see."

"It's not... like, like I loathe all poofs, or, uhm, something,"

One of the side-effects of pure ethanol is slowed cognitive function.

"Like, I'm a close-minded... yeah, close idiot,"

Rukawa was silent. Here is the violent protagonist questioning his manliness.

"But I..."

This was getting interesting for the voyeur. The apathetic Rukawa, however, already left the room, apparently hurt, who also anticipated rejection that he has been the close-minded idiot that time. This was the chance for Mitsui to reveal himself and laugh out loud for all vengeance's sake, but it appeared that Sakuragi was listless and seemed too somber to be teased. Mitsui never knew that Sakuragi had the apple juice Rukawa was supposed to have.

"What's happening, what's... up? What's all this?"

"I don't... want, don't want to hate him that much,"

"What?"

"Tempt...ation... greets me like a naughty... Mitsui."

"You mean friend right?"

"I really don't... hate him, uh... just jea...lous,"

"I dunno what's happening to you. You high?"

"No."

"Keep... keep his charm... to, uh... himself," Sakuragi continues, "all ends... are dead." Sakuragi has hoped for a better way to tell this line but it proved rather difficult to do so, especially when you're high from ethanol.

"Cul de sacs," says Mitsui, who now emphatically sat beside the redhead and started to drink the apple juice he had for himself earlier. "This tastes like a (censored) sanitizer. 'Nyway if I were you I will tell him just that. All ends're gonna be open then,"

"But he... left..."

"Yeah, yeah, that's right. Want me to tell him?"

He was referring to himself.

"I will... I'll... tell him."

But he didn't.

"I... will, yes,"

Until the next month that is.

Long minutes after Mitsui ended up confessing to Kogure that night. Akagi rushed the redhead to the hospital and injured his other ankle trying to buy enough time to save the best rebounder in all of high school in Kanagawa. While no one really tried saving Mitsui because of his so-called acts of vengeance, Kogure, the ever-martyr of them all, decided that since Mitsui is staying for another year he might as well be saved. Haruko was tested for psychological treatment and resulted in a false alarm, while Ryota, still depressed, went on to write his own story under the penname Wakefield (inspired by the Sweet Valley High books) chronicling the life of a romantic youngster named Ryota and his quest for love. It was very unoriginal (and screamed of machismo) that it didn't sell as much as Koruha did. The sandy bays were given the peace it deserves, but was left with garbage that authorities have decided a no-food ban.

One week and three days later, they all went back to their senses, practicing for the Winter Inter High. Akagi was no longer part of the team and Ryota was handling the team with finesse and practicality, as well as enough intelligence to subside the violent tendencies of the team. It is a sunny day and breathed of sweat and basketball, the type that Sakuragi has longed for. Divided into two teams it was Mitsui against Ryota, Sakuragi against Yasuda (the former had to redeem himself to the latter) and Rukawa against their new recruit named Jonanduru, who is as apathetic as Rukawa by the way. Ayako was there to witness the makings of the best team in high school basketball, and Kogure was there as referee for the game, not something else. We thought we heard that before.

"Darn it, darn it!" mutters Sakuragi, who is running for Rukawa who was about to make a three-point shot.

"Fifteen-twelve."

"Cool man, it's not like we're fighting Aiwa."

"Ryochin! I'm the genius! Why should I give in?"

"Sometimes surrender is sweet," winks the other.

"Slower than the usual. What the (censored) was that about?" mutters the other to himself, and runs for Mitsui. "Steal it, I'll slam dunk,"

"I can't. The recruit's better than me,"

"Then drop dead, or I'll tell you what happened."

"Shithead." Mitsui never knew what really happened during the camping/vacation/hell/heaven, and he's better off not knowing it.

"If he misses I'll rebound and you make the shot, 'kay?" That was his real plan. The rest of them all are like sweltering metals melting off of each other's bodies trying to block and disguise the fact that everyone has their own agendas for today. The recruit plans to make it to the team, Ryota prepares to take the ball from Yasuda. Mitsui will try to shoot and Sakuragi is planning to rebound. He has a grin on his lips, not the expression you get when you're determined enough to play the sport.

So why is he smiling? Because he's going to brush his skin against Rukawa; well, not that it would give a new lease of life. Please tell your friends about this story.

* * *

_tbc/fin._


End file.
